Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Did I love on him enough?

I ask myself these question everyday, "did I love him enough?", "did I kiss him a lot?", "did he know how much we loved him". We only had a few short days at home with him, and so the entire experience of bringing him home from the hospital through when I took him to the lactation clinic is a blur.

My husband assures me I did love on him, and that I didn't stop kissing him, and that I was always holding him. We joke that Jack likely spent fewer than 6 hours out of our arms from the time he was born through the time he got sick and we could no longer hold him. He insisted on sleeping in my arms or on my chest, or on his daddy. He cried when he was put down at all, or when we tried repeatedly to have him sleep in his bassinet. He would squiggle or squirm and cry when he wasn't in my arms.

Today I was able to watch the video my husband recorded of Jack and I the evening before he got sick. In it, I am holding him and kissing on him, and cuddling him while trying to burp him- something he never really did (he just wasn't a burper). I am so happy this video exists because I am literally unable to keep my lips off his face and gorgeous downy head. I can rest assured he was loved every second, and that he knew it too.

1 comments:

Dana said...

I know you loved him enough, enough for a lifetime. I can feel it through your writing. I'm so glad that you have that video.

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