It hurts too much. I miss him too much. I just want him back.
I want to feel his warm little body, kiss his tummy, his face, his fingers. I want to lie with him on my chest.
I want to change his diapers. He wasn't alive long enough for his umbilical cord to fall off- he had a clamp on the whole time. I'm sad about that too. I wanted to see whether he would have an innie or an outie. I want to kiss that too.
Another Stroller Day. Another one without him.
I don't even dream of him. Even in my dreams, I'm sad and missing my baby. I thought dreams were supposed to be happy and hopeful.
My husband has dreams of another little boy, but not Jack. A cute little baby boy, but not as cute as Jack. He sees the other little boy, he knows that he is ours. But it's not Jack.
It can never be Jack. That's sad.
21 hours ago