My sister-in-law, Jenny, told me husband a story while we were at the NICU with Jack, which has given us goosebumps. She re-told the story to me when we met for lunch earlier this week, and I felt the need to post it here.
My nephew, Timothy, will be 5 years old in April. He was born after a couple of years of infertility, a couple of miscarriages, and a whole lot of hoping. He is loved and adored, though he's your typical pain-in-the-ass kid. While attempting to conceive Timothy a sibling, Jenny had to undergo several tests including ultrasounds. When she explained to Timothy where she would be going, and why, Timothy startled her by asking if an ultrasound is like an xray.
Jenny explained to Timothy the basic difference, to which she received a nodding head in reply. "I've had an xray. I had one when I was 15, right before I went to heaven", Timothy replied. Jenny chalked this up to general "make believe", until another time, when Timmy inquired as to how long you have to be in heaven before you're a baby again. "I waited a long time, for you and daddy to be ready for me", he told her another time. He remembers a dog, one who was with him when he was in his prior life. More than once, as he falls asleep, Timmy has reminded Jenny that she is his "favourite mom, my best one". As though he's had others, ones who weren't as nice... Not as loving.
I'm not really a believer of reincarnation, but these stories make me wonder... I do believe in souls, and heaven... I guess I don't know what I believe... Maybe it's a silly thing to hang my hat on, but when I came across this blog, and then this entry, it struck a chord with me. The author speaks to the loss of her daughter, and writes:
"She needed unconditional love. Something bad happened to her, maybe in a past life, and she needed to know that Brian and I loved her absolutely purely. She wanted love untainted by the scoldings, power struggles, and tears that come with being a human child. By leaving us so early, she was assured of our white hot love forever. It would heal her, so her soul could go on. But it would break me, and I would have to accept it."
It's a nice thought, even if it's not true. Since I don't think we'll have any answers until our time here on Earth is over, it gives me something to cling to. Maybe Jack needed us to love his perfect, new, baby-self. And once we did, ::poof::, that's it. That's all we get. He got what he wanted, and then it was over.