Thursday, June 16, 2011

Down the Hatch



Further to my earlier post about my trials and tribulations on Clomid, here's my update:

Clomid, pill #5, just consumed.

It's CD8, and I'm feeling optimistic.  Nearly time to start peeing on ovulation stick, but not quite. My lucky husband is counting down the days at which he is hands off his body, and hands on mine. I like to keep it real around here, folks. ha

People warned me that Clomid can have some undesirable side effects.

Tiffany is not, so much, a fan.

I was told of hot flashes, crazy bitch-mood swings, bloating, headaches and fatigue.

I actually think I just made that last one up, and have been using it all week to justify to my husband why I'm being such a laze.

Fingers crossed, so far, I think I've had only a couple hot flashes after my first dose and nothing since. I'm bloated, but this may have more to do with the pizza I've been enjoying while watching the Canucks lose the Stanley Cup to Boston than to Clomid... Also, somehow I already "see" myself linking back to this post in another week and laughing at how dumb I am.

Speaking of dumb, I want to tell you a cautionary tale for those of you ready to embark on this medication.  This story is about a friend of mine, and definitely not me because now I feel shame in how stupid I am.

I would suggest, that while sitting down to take the medication, you don't accidentally cracked the Clomid tablet in half. Do not treat the tablet like a pop-out foil pack like your prenatal vitamins. It is not, it's a pull-back foil, likely to prevent this EXACT thing from occurring. Because, of course, if the tablet cracks, the remnants of the pill will form a powder. If you're an idiot like me, you quickly throw back the (now) 2 "pills" and swish them down with water. Fear creeps over you as you look at the residue powder still in the packaging. You quickly calculate the cycle date you're on and worry this particular residue may be the reason you won't pregnant this month. In a moment of sheer panic, you lick the powder to ensure you get your full dosage. You then give yourself an imaginary pat on the back for a job well down, for thinking outside the package box and a full tablet went down the hatch.

Because if you did this, you might think about such things as how the tablet is unexpectedly sweet tasting. Not quite what you thought it would be (bitter?) but then what do you know...

10 minutes later you are conscious of the fact you can no longer feel your tongue. This is because you licked the powder. You bite down your tongue every few minutes to see whether the feeling has come back. It hasn't.

Frantically you turn to Dr. Google, hoping this is a normal side effect.

Luckily for you, you're not the only dummy who has done this, though it appears as though you're the only one who was actually prescribed Clomid rather than ordered it from a sketchy internet company. Congratulate self on ability to correctly SPELL out said medication. CHLOMED isn't even close, stupid.

So yeah, like I said, don't do that. ;) Don't worry, the numbness dissipates. :)

By the way, did you know bodybuilders often use Clomid as a way to increase their Testosterone levels and blocking Estrogen?  To prevent Gynecomastia, aka, Moobs:


Not that I blame them.


Weird, right? 

16 comments:

B. Wilson said...

I can picture you licking the counter.

Keleen said...

bwahahahahahah thanks for the visual!

Dana said...

oh my gosh, you had me laughing. I totally would have licked the package too and had the same thoughts about that amount of powder being the difference between getting pregnant and not getting pregnant. I love this post!

Kelly said...

This entire thing has me cracking up! I would have totally licked the package and had myself a little freak out. Haha. Good stuff.

Tiffany said...

OK KELLY get out of my mind! I just wrote a comment and before I hit post, I glanced up say yours and realized we wrote the same exact thing! Literally almost word for word!

Seriously, Laura, funny. Thank you for the visual! I hope, hope, hope that you don't get any bad side effects and that the Clomid Crazies stay far, far away. I would however, recommend using Clomid as an excuse for any irrational behavior you should choose to display in the next few weeks!!

Becky said...

hahaha!Love the post! Sadly I did what you did today, I mean your friend did today right? I took Clomid pill day 2 this morning and thought I could just pop it through the foil also. Of course it broke in half, I freaked out and had to make sure there wasn't some of the powder still in the package or fell to the floor. I however did not lick the package in hopes of getting every last bit of powder.

Kayla said...

I'm crying...that's all =)

New Year Mum said...

Best of luck with Clomid... I've never used it, so learning about it through you. FXd for you. Love to you always xoxo
{newyearmum2.blogspot.com}

little vitu's mom said...

Well written. Wish this is your month.

Molly said...

Lmao you canoe!!!

lissasue3 said...

Haha

Darcey said...

OMG...that is too funny. The stories you will be able to tell years from now!

Brooke said...

So funny... it sounds just like something I would do. Thank you for the public service announcement!

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