So sad that I decided to watch the few videos we have of Jack. I've tried to stop watching these since they really do make me sob. In the beginning it was the only thing which could calm me, but I don't think I've looked at them for about a month or so.
I was trying to figure out how to upload them from my camera, since I'm super neurotic and worried someone will come into my house, steal my (hidden) camera and take the only video we have of our son. I also worry, however, that as I attempt to upload the videos I may somehow end up accidentally deleting them. I'm sure you can see my dilemma here. ;)
So, I tired to upload, but all the camera would do was upload the photos, which I've already done (it's a Sony Handycam, so it has both photos and video). At least, I thought I had all the photos, but when the screen loaded up in iPhotos, I saw some new ones I've never seen before!
Excitement washed over me, because these are new photos of my little man I've never seen before (or at least can't remember having seen before!). New memories.
I feel like I was shown these photos now, for a reason. Because the 5 months since we lost him date is looming over our heads and I am a wreck lately (and possibly because of the Provera? Dunno...). I like to think he knew I needed these.
Here is my little hunk:
|Another variation of my favourite photo. All dolled-up before we headed out to the car.|
|And yet another. This is him on our couch upstairs, waiting to go in the car to visit his doctor. |
This is the day before he was admitted to the hospital, when all was still well in our world.
|Starting to get fussy, right before a big ol' diaper change.|