Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Tales from a Psychic

A month ago I had written on Facebook about how it much we missed our sweet boy at 6 months old. It was 7 months ago today Jack was declared. It's so hard to believe it... I don't think I will ever believe it, really.

I post a little status update on anniversaries, and when I find a particularly meaningful quote. I've already cleansed about 1/2 my "friends" from my list since I don't want to become the person people look-up to see if their life is still a mess. blech. I actually have my Facebook profile locked, so no one can comment on my page. I don't think I could handle people commenting, and I especially couldn't handle it if they didn't comment, either. You can't really win with me, it seems.

People tend to send me private messages on there because I can still receive those. I prefer it this way, kinda like how they have to actually think about messaging me, rather than just blurting things out mindlessly on my wall. I think some of the less-tech "savvy" people think I can't receive messages, so sometimes I get emails instead

My sister sent me a message back on July 1st, letting me know she had received an email from my cousin in London England. She forwarded me the email once I got home, not wanting me to get it while I was at work... Good thing too.

Hello Laura,

I just wanted to say every time I see you hurting like this; my heart breaks a little more for you both. 

There really are no words that anyone can say that will ever make any difference to how you feel. I wish I could help you a little, I do know only a tiny bit how you feel. Only my mum and my partner knew, but I lost a child at about 12 weeks, very early on, so I never got to know her or bond with her the way you had with Jack. I feel you are such an amazing woman and Jack is with you all the time, he was and is indeed one of the most very special angels ever. You will have a family one day very soon and Jack will always look over you all. 

I wanted to tell you about a psychic I saw in February this year and she told me I had a little girl called Charlie with me and that she was always with me happy and playing. I didn’t tell anyone that I wanted Charlotte as a little girl’s name. She also told me that our Nan is looking over us and the children. 

She asked me who Jack was, I froze and said nothing to her, she told me he was new to their world and that he was an exceptional child and even though he had passed recently, had the love and confidence of a great soul. He apparently ran in, giggled and ran out again. 

This lady knew things, lots of things that were true and it has made me feel a little easier, knowing they are with us, even if it is in spirit only. I really hope that this message does not upset you; this is absolutely not my intention. Sending lots of love and big hugs everyday.

Lisa xxxxx

I read that and was in tears. My little 7lb baby, a little boy? A great soul? A chaotic, funny little guy? And he's happy? And comfortable, and he's okay? He sounds like trouble already (and, if anything like his father, would have been exactly that had he grown here on Earth). I'll take it. I think, more than anything, I worry that he suffered here on Earth. I know logically he did, as he would have had headaches and light sensitivity from his virus. My singing to him must have been painful (and more so than my husband claims it hurts him)... It gives me comfort to know he's not in pain.

I don't really know whether I believe in psychics. I believe there are people who are exceptionally intuitive and people who have gifts and are enlightened... I've met with psychics before, and now of course I wonder if they knew all along because nothing they said ever came true... So either they were terrible psychics, or they were making shit up to hide my future from me. Either way, right?

But I have a friend who goes a few times a year to a psychic she trusts and has seen for a couple of years now.  They talk about her trouble with men, and she tells my friend she should enjoy her life right now because her future husband is a couple of years away... But reminds her these things are subject to change based on how she faces life and the decisions she makes... My friend finds this exceptionally helpful in calming her down when she starts to get anxious... I guess reminding her that this stuff is "in the cards" for her... It's almost like having a life coach or something... I don't know that I believe you can communicate with "the other side", a la Rita May Brown...

But I do like the idea of a glimpse into the happy life we will have with out children "on the other side" one day. So, why don't I call? Because I'm extremely anxious that the psychic will tell me we will never have more children. Because there's nothing worse that anyone could say to me right now other than those words... I've already heard, "your son has no brain function", I'm not ready to hear "you'll never have more babies".

So, I'm curious... Ever been tempted to call a psychic? Anyone have any "fortunes" to share, or misfortunes for that matter?


Glo said...

Very interesting. I might be tempted but...same...afraid of what I might be told.

Anonymous said...

Hi Laura,
I have wanted to go see a psychic so many times, and had opportunity to, but just couldn't do it.

I have the same damn fear you do...being told I won't have any more babies.

I think I believe in psychics and I know I believe in spirits (angel babies are out though...I think you know my opinion on that).

If you know of a psychic in the Greater Toronto Area that you have heard good things about and could TRUST, I would love their number.

I would love confirmation that Xavier is happy and healthy waiting for us on "the other side"

I cried reading the letter from your cousin, it's a beautiful thought that we continue on after we die. I keep waiting for Xavier to visit me in my dreams :(


Molly said...

Love the email and the thought of jack happy :)
Too scared to visit one myself tho

Hope's Mama said...

I got shivers reading this. I've always been too afraid of them myself (like you, worried I'd just get lumped with bad news) but this really was amazing.

Kelly said...

I've thought about going to a psychic after Adam died, and I'm not even sure I believe in it. I'm also scared about them saying there will be more tragedy (such as with the investigation or with Natalie). I don't know that I could take much more. I'm already anxious enough. Anyway, this gave me the chills. I would really like to believe it. I often wonder, too, if Adam was happy.

Holly said...

I hope the email gave you a little comfort and solice in that he's a happy mischevious boy, a true McCannell...

I've always wanted to see one, but ah figure what's the rush.

Dana said...

I got chills when the psychic asked who Jack is. I love how she described him. I also love that she mentioned Charlie to your cousin. Things like that make me so much more assured that Jacob, August, Cub and maybe this little one are fine, just in a different place.

I went to a psychic at the end of April. She didn't tell me about my future, but she connected with Jacob and said a few things that she couldn't have known. Like the fact that I didn't bury all of his ashes (I kept a pinch because I just couldn't stand burying them all). She also kept talking about a white cloth the size of a kleenex and then I realized that she was referring to the cloth my doctor put him on before handing him to me. There were a few other little things do (I wrote about them all on my blog).

Something else happened with her that gave me chills. I found out about her from my friend, who has also lost a baby. The psychic does meditation classes that my friend goes do. During one of them, she was trying to channel Jacob or Oscar, but instead a baby named Jonas appeared and said something about his Mom being worried about the baby she is pregnant with, but that he would be fine. Well my friend and I both know a woman who lost a baby names Jonas and was then pregnant with her rainbow (he was born early and had to be airlifted to another hospital, but he is fine now and at home).

Caroline said...

Never been, but definitely tempted - especially after reading that email - oh how special. Just a suggestion if you do end up going to one . . . just remember what that one psychic tells you friend - that everything can change depending on how you face life and decisions you make. So whatever she says, it's up to YOU to figure out how to live your life and how to take what she says and make whatever you want out of it. :) Lots of love to you on this difficult day.

Tiffany said...

I think the fear of hearing something that would upset me is greater than what comfort I may get from hearing something happy. I have no doubt that Ellie is happy right now and waiting for me. Maybe someday I would be strong enough for something like this, but I know I'm not right now. I love that your friend shared this with you, it was a great gift.

lissasue3 said...

I don't believe in it so I've never been to a psychic but I WANT to believe. That story was so sweet that I wish it to be true. I want to believe that all our kids are happy and healthy somewhere playing together as we commiserate our sorrow. :: and now I'm crying ::

Tiffany said...

wow that is such a great story. i got chills too. i can't say that i've ever thought about going to a psychic, but i definitely would try it if given an opportunity.

i feel the same way as you about fb and locking down on it. i've been doing the same thing lately. i hate feeling like my life is other people's entertainment. ((hugs))

Brooke said...

That letter gives me goosebumps. I would normally roll my eyes at psychics, but I do think it's possible that some people are intuitively connected to a spiritual world. I mean why not? For all we know, it's just as lucky to die as it is to be born. I hate that you have to miss him, but I don't doubt for a second that he's happy and at peace.

Becky said...

Not to sure what I think about the psychic thing. Went to one once just to check it out and she told me very basic things that could have told anyone. It is interesting about her mentioning Jack though. True or not hearing her say his name and that he is grown and running around is a nice thought.

You wrote on my blog about me taking Provera. Not rolling my eyes at all on that. My Dr has actually had me on Provera many times while ttc Liam. I was actually on it for a month before first ttc this June to set my body on my husbands work schedule also. I am calling my dr tomorrow to see if that's what she wants to do again. It just sucks that if I am not getting my period and having to take that, then I am not getting pregnant. Ugh!

Rhiannon said...

I have never been to a psychic and on one hand would love to but like you, I am also afraid of what she might tell me. I think it is amazing that she connected with Jack and what a comforting thought think of him as a thriving, handsome, happy little boy. Thinking of you during these hard days. <3

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