My husband suggested I start researching things to do next week when he starts back to work. I'm not mad at him, but I am mad at the fact I even need to research things to do on a maternity leave... without a baby to care for.
All the things I had planned to do on my leave, (baby massage, baby dance, going for walks with the stroller, eventually baby swim class, etc), well, these things require a baby. I am so angry I can't do these things, and I am sad that I can't do them with Jack.
My husband reminds me, "not yet", as in, you can't do these things yet... and you'll never be able to do them with Jack, but one day you can... with the next baby.
He means well, and I know he has my best interests at heart. He doesn't want to see me sit at home all day, depressed or crying. I understand that, and it's not what I want either. I will be looking into things to do, to occupy my time. I'm just angry and sad that I have to. Because I have no baby.