I am pregnant "out to here" and so I'm getting a of "must being day now", "you're fit to burst" comments. I don't reply mind because I do look overtly pregnant and I feel fit to pop at any minute. About a week a go I was in the elevator bank at work when a nice girl asked whether this was my first ("no"), whether we knew the gender (yes, girl) and whether my first was a girl or boy (a gorgeous lovely, perfect little man).
"You have yourself a million dollar family!", she exclaimed, clearly thrilled for me. I didn't have the heart to tell her we should have one, but yet we don't. Instead, I replied, "something like that!" and smiled. It felt so forced- it's not her fault because I have said the exact same thing to people without giving it a second thought. And it is a wonderful thing that we will soon be parents to both a hunk of a little man as well as a lovely little lady in just a few short weeks, I just wish I could have them both in my arms, you know? Like I won the lottery, but have been taxed a child.
This week has been full of up and downs. Baby Gracie is just fine, perfect even. She remains hopeless devoted to her daddy and he to her. And I to them both. I had a doctors appointment earlier this week as I tested borderline for Gestational Diabetes. I haven't been testing out of "normal" blood sugar ranges, even after eating a ton of carbohydrates, so I haven't been particularly anxious about the appointment. It wasn't until I had run through the list of risk factors with the doctor and he mentioned pregnancies in quick succession that I kinda thought, huh well... The doctor mentioned this as a factor,
the referenced his notes and said perhaps having two babies in 18 months could have contributed. So the next logical question for him to ask was how old my first was, and so I began down the road of explanation... After I told him Jack had died he asked whether he would tell me how and when. So I told him. I wasn't prepared for his response, which was two fold;
"You know Bacterial Meningitis is incredibly rare right?". YUP, I DO!
Which was quickly followed with; "You know, you really are lucky your son died as a baby, and not as a child. In my faith (he was Jewish), babies don't have souls". He went on to explain about how much harder it would be to lose a thirteen year old version of your child, rather than a baby you never really knew. I just stared at him. When I managed to pick my jaw up off the floor, I told him that a mother very much knows her baby, no matter how long she has with him or her. I also let him know we mothers start setting a place at the table for our babies, as soon as we know we are pregnant. I told him it wasn't helpful, that what he said didn't make me feel better. The guy was kind of just a weirdo, and so when I burst into tears in frustration, he kinda became awkward and excused himself only to return with a small box of
Anyway, so that clearly left me startled and I called Scott crying. Um, it's never a good idea for a BLM to call a BLD crying after a doctor's appointment, and Scott was immediately concerned as to why his pregnant wife was choking on her tears too much to talk. When I told him, he just laughed and confirmed the guy was an idiot with no bedside manner. The fact this guy spoke to me about his religion in the context of a diabetes clinic seemed more than a little offside, and even now as I sit back and reflect on it, I wish I had chosen my words more harshly... I know I can call and complain to the medical board here in Ontario, but honestly, I have to see this guy only twice more and I am rid of him. I just want it over, you know?
In better news, things on the home front are well under way. It's actually why I didn't post last week as I usually would have- we spent the entire weekend sanding/priming/painting and de-cluttering to get our house ready to hit the market last Tuesday. I'm delighted to say we managed it, despite having very sore muscles to show for it. The house looks great, we've already had thirty private viewing appointments and 60 "groups" walked through our home at our two open houses held this weekend. Our realtor is delighted, and we have one registered offer so far, and hope there are more to come tomorrow. We shall see, all we need is one, right? :)
Speaking of which, I want to show how adorable Jack's nursery looks now that it's sorted and purged (don't kid yourself, I am not this organized. I have 1000 things packed up in storage! This room will be re-filled with baby stuff as soon as the sold sign hits the front lawn!). Some of Gracie's things have migrated into the room as well, which is entirely bitter-sweet.
|Why yes, that is the wall which took us no fewer than 4 hours to tape and paint. That sure is the UppaBaby stroller folded under the crib, the giraffe-print chair set I bought for Jack's siblings last spring, a couple pillows I picked to coordinate with other baby gear things I possess.|
I'll keep you updated re: the house. Wish us luck!!